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A brief history of my former life as an occasionally-but-very drunk dickhead
The day I write this piece marks four years since I last had an alcoholic drink. Alcohol of any kind – I don’t even use rum when I make rum balls. Four years and no drinking. I needed to become a non-drinker, and I did. It was embarrassingly easy for me to stop, because I…
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Like father, like son? No. Not at all.
27 March this year was the last ‘coming-of-age’ milestone of my father’s suicide. He took his own life twenty-one years ago, in 1998. Ordinarily I’m overcome with a sense of dread in the weeks before this annual milestone, but this year, I wasn’t.
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Our own little Ramsay Street
In his poem Mending Wall, the American poet Robert Frost said, “Good fences make good neighbours.” He might perhaps have been the inspiration for an American president who fancies a wall, but that president doesn’t read. But I’m digressing. Growing up in country Victoria, our neighbours were mostly all lovely people. We lived in a cul-de-sac,…
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It’s about time all Aussie Dads were screened for depression, too
In announcing an expansion of its mental health program, the UK’s National Health Service (NHS) said the men “will be automatically offered a comprehensive mental health assessment and sign-posted to professional support if needed.” Australia should go even further.
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How we learned to co-parent peacefully after the separation
The reality of how my kids’ mother and I were, and are, as parents really surprised me. Our personality types and general approach to life ended up being the opposite to our parenting styles. As we created our family and brought children into the world, I assumed we’d be those same people in our parenting…
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Dads: brush up on the ‘girly’ stuff
You’re all over the doodle and ballbag, but brush up on the female body, too. Your daughter (and your partner) need you to get over yourself. My brothers and I were told fairly early on by our mother that boys have ‘doodles’ and girls have ‘fannies’. Our friends had been bestowed with similar expertise in…
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Dear diary, let’s have another look at this life…
American writer Jessamyn West, author of The Friendly Persuasion, said, “People who keep journals have life twice”. It’s hyperbole, but appeals to those of us who want to live a life worth remembering. To live a life twice! How grand. Journaling is something I’ve done off and on from the time I could write as a young boy. My…
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How to deal with Christmas as a single dad
If you don’t have your kids for the day, or part of it at least, the loneliness and sadness of Christmas as a single dad can overwhelm. This Christmas will be the third since the mother of my children and I chose to separate, but it will be my first with my kids and me…
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5 reasons single dads are wary of dating
From being protective of their kids to just looking after their own heart, JC Clapham outlines the real reasons a single dad might baulk at dating again. I’m a ‘single dad’. That term can mean a few different things, and it carries a few different types of what some would call ‘baggage’. Yes it means…
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How I coped when my kids got a step-dad
Seeing my ex-wife with someone else has been a big challenge — it means my kids have a ‘stepdad’.