I love being a dad and having my three kids. I’m a very involved and good father, and the upside of quitting my senior corporate job last year after my marriage ended, is that I’m now far more present and active in my kids’ lives.
With three major and parallel challenges in the preceding few years – a highly-demanding and traveling job, a crumbling marriage, and my mental health deteriorating – I wasn’t as available for my kids, either in person or emotionally, as I now am.
I’ve always been a good dad, but the level of my active involvement wasn’t as good as it could have been.
I focussed the energy I did have on my job and keeping the income rolling in. I thought that was the best way I could support my family.
But it was a misguided decision.
My mental health worsened and that impacted on every other area. My work suffered, my marriage became untenable, and I ended up basically having a breakdown.
In the time since, I’ve made my kids and health my priorities and everything else very much secondary. And it’s the best thing that has happened.
I might not be a rising corporate star anymore, I may not be married anymore, and I may always need to actively monitor and manage my health, but I am now a wonderful and available father to my three great kids.
I still struggle in the hours after we part for a few days until we’re next together again, but I draw strength from knowing how strong and close our relationship is now.
I am enough. I have always been enough. But I am now a much more present father and closer to something approaching ‘happy’ than I have been in a very long time 🙂